North Korea leads world in Savings Groups!
Wednesday, April 1, 2015 at 12:02AM
Jong Lee Jong
Kim Jong-Un, The Glorious Village Agent, has brought village level savings to all Korean peasants, factory workers, and party members. The Great Facilitator invented Savings Groups twelve months ago while piloting his jet fighter and at the very same instant writing an opera of extraordinary beauty. He immediately put in place a cascade training structure that brought these wonderful creations to all the citizens of the Democrate Republic of North Korea in only three days.
Already, Savings Groups have raised the standard of living of Korean workers, pushing them even further ahead of our brothers and sisters in the South, who toil away in near slavery at Samsung, Boeing and Starbucks. There has never been poverty in our land, but if there had been, SGs would have eradicated it forever! Similarly, all North Korean women have always been completely empowered, but if any misguided woman ever failed to feel empowered, she would now tremble with the revolutionary energy surging from the savings group. Finally, North Koreans enjoy the smoothest incomes in the world, but if they needed income smoothing, our perfectly functioning SGs would make their incomes as smooth as a baby’s bottom. 
Comrades, the Devil Americans have been trying shamelessly and unsuccessfully to steal the invention of The Supreme Private Service Provider, but their savings groups are of course a poor copy of our own and a complete failure. They exploit the peasants, even going so far as to link member-owned groups to capitalist bankers, the same people who brought the West to its knees by inventing so-called “derivatives”, driving poor people from their homes in all the capitalist countries. Our groups only ask peasants to voluntarily contribute half of their savings to the State, which in turn rewards them with the World’s highest standard of living!
To share this wonderful triumph, The Most High Community Based Trainer has offered to host SG2017 in Pyongyang, and will thrill visitors with a grand opening military parade of ten thousand soldiers playing the role of “Treasurers”, holding cashboxes high over their heads, while thirty thousand ten year old gymnasts playing “key holders” perform daring acrobatics trying to unlock the boxes, which the soldiers will teasingly pull out of the way at the last minute. The conference, the finest conference ever held, will be called, “SG2017: The Power of Un!”
Article originally appeared on Savings Revolution (
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